I hate my job

I don't mean my normal 9 to 5 job (but I wouldn't mind having another one of those either). I'm talking about my side job as a caregiver. I usually love it, my patients are almost always someone I've known for a long time or are the family members of someone I've known a long time. I have a connection to them thus I automatically make them one of my family.

But there comes a time in every caregivers life when you realize your patient is not going to be there after your job is done. My patient right now is given a week to live, and her family has to just sit there and wait. My job at night is to sit there and wait for something to happen. And when it does happen, I have to be there when the family gets there. And I have to tell them that everything went peacefully, and that she suffered no pain. I know this process all too well because I've been through it, even with my own family members.

After speaking to one of this lady's precious children, I knew he had no idea what was ahead of him. He's going off what the doctor's say, and he's wise enough to know when to say "no, Mother wouldn't want that, it will just pro-long the inevitable." What he doesn't know is how hard this next week is going to be. I know an approximate time table of the events that are about to unfold for this family, and they are asking me questions about what happens next. How do you tell someone the next step is complete kidney failure, or she's going to go into a coma and be taking her turn towards Heaven? How do you tell 5 grown people that their mother, who has lived 91 wonderful years is suddenly not going to live past a week? Even more weird is when they ask you what they should do next.

I got on the elevator this morning and cried. Because I know how that family member feels and I know their anticipation of something might turn around. I have a great respect for death and the peace that it brings to your body when you've been suffering. You're released from this earth into Heaven, and there has to be no greater joy. My job here on earth is to make your suffering body at least as comfortable as you can be before you're released. There's no greater joy and yet pain to tell your loved one that it's okay, they can go on. I know there's a heaven because I see it through my patients. You see them connecting with some great beyond, and to this day I've never seen anyone frowning as they pass on. Even with faith on your side you have no concept of what Heaven is going to be like, but in my line of work you get to see the reaction of what someone else is seeing as they cross that barrier.

So to be blunt, my job is not bad and I really do enjoy it. But when it comes to times like this, I hate it.

Karabeth and Karen, please send your prayers for Mrs. Ruby Robertson and her family right now.